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Best way to lock your bike
I’m going to take you on a journey today.
We’re going to travel across a wide arc from war-torn ghettos all the way to an idyllic paradise filled with blue skies, little fluffy clouds, and magical unicorns that poop rainbows.
Along the way we’ll look at the best theft prevention devices for your bike, to ensure that no-one makes off with your beloved pedal-powered chariot… not even those cute unicorns.
We’re stopping off at four stations on the way, so you can decide which is most similar to your situation, and check out which are the best theft prevention devices for you and your pride and joy.
The stations we’re calling at are:
- Pedal Hard, Don’t Look Strangers In The Eye, And Never, Ever, Stop Moving
- The People Are Okay, But The Weather Is Grim
- It’s A Nice Enough Neighbourhood, But The Thieves All Carry Bolt Cutters
- Unicornville
Quick Answer: Kryptonite New York Lock Fahgettaboutit Bicycle Lock
How to theft proof your bike
Let’s take a look at each of these, shall we?
Welcome to:
Pedal Hard, Don’t Look A Stranger In The Eye, And Never Ever Stop Moving
In a place like Pedal Hard, there’s really nothing that will keep your bike safe outdoors.
If you manage to get your hands on an unbreakable lock, then your seat will get stolen. If you manage to lock your seat to your bike, then someone will just smash your wheels to pieces. Gotta love Pedal Hard…
The solution to bike theft in a place like this is not to leave your bike out on the street. That way, if it’s inside with you, ain’t no-one gonna steal it. There are two routes you can go down here:
- Bike As Art
- Bike As Origami
1. Bike As Art
If you’ve got a cool looking bike then why not show it off in your apartment?
True, it works best with a funky hipster-style bike, but even with a more ordinary-looking cycle, it will look much better securely hung over your mantlepiece, than stuffed into the communal stairway.
2. Bike As Origami
But maybe your mantlepiece has too many trophies to have space for a bike as well?
In that case, you might want to consider a different style of bike altogether: Folding bikes. These have come a long way since they were first wheeled onto our streets, back in the day.
Okay, all aboard the train! We’re about to depart Pedal Hard for our next station…
Welcome to:
The People Are Okay, But The Weather Is Grim
We can all breathe a little easier in The People Are Okay. Folk round here are a lot nicer than in Pedal Hard. There’s still plenty of bad ‘uns around, but it’s safe enough to leave your bike securely locked up outside, knowing that no-one is going to steal your seat or just trash the bike.
Unfortunately, the one downside to The People Are Okay is that the weather isn’t the best. Yes, the sun might visit every once in a while, but generally, it’s fairly cold, quite wet, and generally a bit yuck for much of the time.
In that case, the best theft prevention device for your bike is one that does two jobs:
- locks your cycle up securely, and
- keeps it protected from the elements
What you need is an outdoor bike store. These come in two flavours:
- Weatherproof storage bike cover
- Lockable storage shed
The weatherproof storage bike cover is very versatile. It keeps your bike dry and protected from the weather. You can lock it up, through the special eyelets, round the bike, and onto a suitable immovable object.
Plus, when you’re not using it, just fold it up and store it indoors or take it with you. The bike cover below is a fantastic example and comes in 3 different sizes to store up to 3 bikes at one time.
If you’ve got the space outside for something more permanent, then it’s worth considering a lockable storage shed, like this one.
This has room for two bikes and features a sliding lid and fully opening doors for easy access. The doors are lockable, plus you can also lock up your bike inside the store for extra security.
All aboard!
Welcome to:
It’s A Nice Enough Neighbourhood, But The Thieves All Carry Bolt Cutters
Ah! The last stop on the line before we reach our final destination. It’s A Nice Enough Neighbourhood…is well…a really nice neighborhood. The people are lovely, and wherever you go they smile and say hello.
Sadly there’s still one or two pesky thieves about who would love to pedal off on your faithful two-wheeler, so you’ve got to make sure that your bike is securely locked up. Because these thieves also carry bolt cutters around with them (unbelievable, but true) you’ve got to be certain that the lock you use is sturdy and will resist those metal jaws.
There are some very good bike locks available that fit the bill here. One of the best I’ve seen is this one from Kryptonite.
All aboard for the last stage of our journey!
Welcome to:
Unicornville
Step off the train and take in those blue skies, fluffy white clouds, and rainbows, freshly pooped by those lovable unicorns. We’ve made it to Unicornville and we can all relax, take it easy, and not worry about thieves.
That being said, even in a place like Unicornville, it can still be useful to have a bike lock. Just in case one of those naughty unicorns decides to ‘borrow’ it to go to a bar with some of their unicorn pals for a rainbow milkshake.
What we need is a bike lock that is compact and bijou. Nothing like as over-the-top as a Fahgettaboutit. Maybe it can be rolled up and stored on your bike? Maybe it could even come in a range of funky colors….?
GoFriend have produced a fantastic bike lock, that keeps those unicorns away.
It also has a 5-digit combination lock, so there’s no need to remember to take a key with you. Bonus!
How to prevent bike theft college
I hope you’ve enjoyed your journey with us today? There are some easy ways to stop bike thefts from happening and I hope this gives you useful methods of doing so.
Now, please collect all your luggage before you leave the train. Mind the gap between the train and the platform.
Stay safe, you gorgeous little unicorn.
